The most important consideration is the well-being of the child. Does anyone really disagree with that?
If it is agreed that David Banda's interests take precedence, there can be no doubt about what is right and wrong.
In the last few days, two possible lives have stretched out before him. In one, he was going be raised in an orphanage in a poverty-stricken country. The average life expectancy for a male in Malawi is 39 years. The average income a mere US$160. AIDS/HIV is rampant and he would be signifantly at risk of dying from it. Both his siblings died of another scourge of Africa, malaria. His mother is dead.
The second possible life for him, that appeared strangely and almost miraculously, is now to be the adopted son of Madonna. I have no particular brief for Madonna. I am not a fan and what I have read of her early life does not cause me to admire her. However I do not, like some people, jump to the rather mean assumption that she wants a black baby as a fashion statement. I have known several women of her age who have longed to have more children. I think it very likely indeed that Madonna, too, has felt this longing and that consequently she will give this child love for the rest of her life.
That will be the most important thing for David Banda - to be loved by her and surely by Guy Ritchie, too. As a result of being adopted, David is likely to do better in his life in every way. Research into the outcomes for children with different kinds of parenting has - as is well known - shown that children brought up by their natural, married parents do better than most. But less well-known is the fact that children who are adopted do best of all.
Why? The research does not tell us. But we can surmise that people who adopt really, passionately want the child and devote a great deal of love and attention to him or her.
It is just a bonus, for David, that his adoptive parents are in a position to offer him myriad other benefits too. He is dramatically less likely to have his life cut short by malnutrition or disease. He will be well educated and travel the world. He will have every opportunity to realise his potential, whatever that may be.
The contrast between his prospects in an orphanage and those with Madonna is so huge that they dwarf the objections. It is said he may grow up to be upset that his father gave him up or that he was 'bought' by a pop star. He might indeed experience some difficulty, when he is older, adjusting to his unusual history. Of course, the situation is not perfect. But he will be undoubtedly far better off with some degree of emotional confusion than going without a mother at all, in poverty. Let not those who resent the wealth and fame of Madonna be motivated by that emotion into wishing a child was not give a better life.
(The above is the unedited draft of an article for today's Daily Express.)
Posted by James Bartholomew • Indexed in Parenting
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I blogged on the attitude of the "59 charities" and their few representatives interviewed in the media who were outraged and angry at the fate of baby David. So outraged that they were going to go to law to stop it.
It was obvious to me that the future of David was not only of no concern to the middle class liberals I saw interviewed, it was not even a consideration.
They perhaps had a small point that a wealthy individual should not get preferential treatment, but so what? That's the way life is, learn to live with it.
I suspect other, more complex, emotions were to the fore. Such as stopping the representative of the Great Satan, and preventing a wealthy celebrity who leads a lavish lifestyle turning up and plucking the child to safety in an instant, whilst these professional do gooders dedicate their lives to the task.
Perhaps I was reading too much into the situation, but their anger seemed a bit too much for any mundane explanation.
Posted by: John East at October 20, 2006 11:40 PM